The Best Pasta Salad OF ALL TIME.

If you're like me, the highlight of any barbeque (besides the meat, of course) is when somebody brings along pasta salad. If you're also like me, you dig into the first two or three bites with relish before you have to stop, since it's usually that stuff that comes in a plastic carton at the supermarket and it's drowned in horrible, horrible sauce.

Well, now you can have your delicious pasta salad and eat it, too!

Ingredients:

-1 Ham Steak

-Old/Extra Old Cheddar (yellow, it comes in blocks, maybe like 1/2 a cup?)

-Celery (1 or 2 stalks is fine)

-Green Onions (a small bunch)

-Sweet Pickles (the kind that come pre-sliced in a jar, maybe five or six of these chopped up)

-Pickle juice (from the aforementioned jar - maybe about 1/4 cup)

-1/2 tbsp of American mustard (French's, etc.)

-1/2 cup of Mayonnaise (light varieties are fine too)

-1/2 cup Miracle Whip

-Pinch of curry powder (optional)

-3 cups Tortiglioni (this is my favorite pasta, but you can use macaroni or penne or any other type of pasta that comes in small pieces.)

Instructions:

-Cook your pasta. It should be al dente (firm, but cooked) rather than soft and squishy. The pasta tends to fall apart if you cook it too long, which is just not cool in a pasta salad.

-While your pasta is cooking, chop up the ham steak and cheese into small cubes. (Less than 1cmx1cmx1cm.) Chop up the celery into small bits, cut up the green onion into slivers and cut up the pickle slices into bits even smaller than the celery bits.

-Chill the pasta in cold water until it's at room temperature or less. Make sure it's very well strained!

-Dump the pasta into a large bowl. Add the bits you've chopped up, the mayo and the Miracle Whip. Combine. Add the pickle juice a little bit at a time, to taste. It gives the pasta salad a little bit of zing, but it's easy to go overboard. Add the mustard and the curry the same way, a little bit at a time.

-Cover and chill in the fridge for AT LEAST an hour before whatever you need it for to let the flavors blend. Voila!